Just before Christmas, we took Matilda for a scheduled check-up with the liver/transplant team in NYC. It could not have been more perfect. It was a whirlwind getting there (I was sick with strep the days leading up to the trip), but once we were there we forgot all of our worries, relaxed, and spent time together counting our blessings and giving praise to the people who saved Matilda.
It was snowing in New York, Christmas trees lined every corner, and it brought me right back to last year when we were all together as a family for the first time in three months.
There was a mass I attended just before Parker came back to us, one year ago to the day we stepped back on the city streets. And at that mass, there was a special song sung by the youngest members of the church. They were maybe in Kindergarten, wearing their Sunday best. One little boy stepped out for a solo and sang with all of his might, "Soon and very soon, we are going to see the King. Soon and very soon, we are going to see the King. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We are going to see the King." His voice still rings loudly and his smile shines bright in my memory.
I can remember happily walking back to the hospital, almost skipping to the beat of the song still in my head, with happiness practically bursting out of me. And I felt that way during this trip, with a smile on my face and happiness in my heart.
The liver team held a holiday party in honor of all their pediatric patients. It was such a blessing to see so many families and talk face to face with mothers I had been emailing throughout the year with questions and concerns. And the children. To see their faces, their excitement, and their happiness. It made me swell with goodness. Plus, it was great to interact with everyone outside of a hospital setting (especially for Parker).
I was also surprised by the number of people who stopped to get a photo with me or tell me they love reading the blog. And, best of all, was when they would share a specific post that rang true to them. It can be hard to know if my voice is being heard and appreciated. So, the kind words spoken in thanks and honesty fueled my flame.
As far as Matilda's actual appointment - they say she is perfect. Her liver numbers are perfect. She is right on target for everything. And can you even see her scar? As Matilda's mother, I am so proud and thankful. But as a mother, I cannot help but cry for those who are not as fortunate as us, who are still waiting for a liver, who have lost the fight, and who are grieving their loss. I think of you everyday, I cannot imagine your pain. My prayers are always with you.
