October 8th, 2012 - part 2
After being lost in Harlem looking for a Target for the majority of the day, I was happy to make it back to the hospital. I was feeling a little less sad and a bit more determined. So despite the fact that Matilda was still trying to wake up enough to have her breathing tube removed, that extra bounce in my step let me know that holding Matilda was just a short term goal.
My mom had sent me a few texts telling me to check my email. But it wasn't until we were standing in the hallway waiting for an x-ray to be completed that I took the time to peek. It was an email from a friend. I grew up with Theresa. We were best friends for the majority of elementary through high school. But it has been ten years and we had not really kept in touch. Yet here it was, this email, in my inbox. She had written Matilda the most beautiful song.
It took my breath away and brought me to tears. I was so humbled that she took the time. That she created something so perfect when I needed her most. I needed to hear someone say that Matilda was going to grow. That we were going to watch her grow up. Matilda never seemed worried. She was always giving us "the eyebrows" and looking at us like we were fussing over nothing. She knew. And Theresa felt it. I needed to be reminded that none of this was about me. It was about Matilda and how she was put on this earth to do good work.
And just like that the air changed. It felt lighter. Everything fell into place. They took out Matilda's breathing tube. We had our favorite night nurse. I held Matilda for hours. And when it was time to put her back into bed, she woke up. I posted this on Facebook:
Check out this little cutie! Tyler read her all of Parker's favorite bedtime stories and she loved it! She was staring at Tyler with wide eyes the whole time!
We fell asleep that night with smiles on our faces. We were proud parents, feeling blessed and so full of love. So when I was woken up early the next morning with a shoulder rub from the doctor telling me that Matilda's labs did not look good. I nearly threw up.
