I have been frustrated with happiness the last few weeks. Frustrated because I know I am happy. My kids fill me to the brim with happiness. My blessings are abundant. My dreams are vibrant. And yet, I have moments of melancholy that are consuming and leave me thinking that I am sad. I literally wasted part of my day trying to list the things that make or have the potential to make me happy. Like a pep talk would solve everything.
I gave up and moved on to a different task. I have been telling people that I am giving myself a year to write thank you notes. Truth is, I have not started, so now I have less than a year, a lot less than a year. So I started to write a few thank you notes. And it hit me. I have been focusing on myself. Happiness has been frustrating me because it has nothing to do with me.
I need to turn my focus outward. I need to give back. I need to work towards giving happiness instead of trying to hold onto it for myself.
